I recently shared a clip for a documentary, called UNseen. And let me tell you I’ve never felt so seen in my life (as a parent). Before I had Reagan, a friend gave me every labor scenario, I felt prepared. Until I wasn’t. I imagined a life filled with dance class, soccer practice, cute little girl shoes, and drop off playdates. That is not and never has been my life.
No one told me I would look in the mirror and not recognize the person staring back at me.
No one told me I would give up my dreams of truly ever having a real career.
No one told me that I would become an advocate, a nurse, an insurance guru, an OT, a PT, a ST, a chauffeur, and a medical diet chef.
No one told me that in one year my child would have 70 various medical appointments.
No one told me I would have to pin my kid down for medical procedures while telling her its okay meanwhile silently crying inside.
No one told me that the stress of parenting would put my own health in jeopardy.
No one told me that date nights and trips with my spouse would disappear.
No one told me that exhaustion to your core does exist, yet you persist.
No one told me to smile, say I’m okay and move on with the conversation, but I learned that’s what you do.
No one told me to never talk about the realities of caregiver parenting, yet no one ever does.
Why? Why don’t we talk about it? Why don’t we call it like it is? Exhausting, both mentally and physically, filled with grief for the life we thought we would have and lonely, so very lonely.
Mental health has been talked about more in the past two years than ever before. Yes, the pandemic has been hard on so many people but there is a subset of people, parent caregivers who have been battling alone for years on end. These people that have gone to their car and screamed after another disappointing appointment, have cried in their showers, have let their own needs and wants fade away, these people who may never become empty nesters. Do you know these people? Yes? Help them without asking what they need. Listen when they talk, without pity or judgement. Are you one of them? Ask for help and don’t feel bad about it. Put yourself first, because you are the lifeline for your child. You are the one keeping it all together while falling apart behind the scenes. You are still you, just with a sprinkle of trauma and a life slightly outside of the “norm”.
*I am firm believer in therapy and yoga, both of which helped and continues to help me through caregiver parenting*
Rea of Hope 
Amen to all of this…So so hard and it just keeps going. Like running back to back marathons but emotionally and physically. So many people see a picture of a child that looks normal. I have been admonished for talking about anything that may be construed as negative (tho talking is a healthy way to handle grief and should be allowed). What a screwed up world we live in. All I can do is keep going, praying and hoping something good is or will come out of all of this…💜
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Yes! Not negative, just our reality. ❤️
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