Summers as a kid for me where filled with swimming at my grandparents pool with my cousins, running after the ice cream truck and staying up late catching fireflies. I look back and think how lucky I was to have such an incredible carefree 18+ plus summers, with people who are not just my family but I also consider my best friends.
This past weekend Reagan and I traveled to Connecticut to celebrate my Uncles 70th Birthday. It was reminiscent of my childhood, swimming, playing and staying up late for most of the little kids. It gave that warm fuzzy feeling until I looked around and my own child was missing out. She missed out on running through the yard playing games, because sometimes it’s hard to keep up and that can cause frustration and emotional breakdowns. She was missing out on the night swimming and snuggling up on the couch with cousins watching a movie because she tires easily from both her CP and her Epilepsy medications and was tucked into bed a mere 20 minutes after her standard bedtime. She was missing out on sitting and eating dinner with everyone because she has to stick to a strict meal schedule. She was missing out on cake because it’s not Keto. Many times throughout the night I wished she could just experience one night of my childhood summers.
I asked Reagan when we got home what her favorite part of the weekend was, she responded “spending time with my family”. It was only then did I realize she didn’t see the weekend as I did, she didn’t feel like she was missing out because she’s never known any different.
Reagan is pretty self aware she understands her limitations and what is just too much for her. She knew running around after a day of swimming and boating may be to physically draining for her so playing barbies it was. She knew staying up and singing happy birthday only to not get to eat the cake probably wouldn’t be fun, but having a sleepover in one room with her cousin, mom and aunt would be. She knew, but I didn’t. My head was clouded with what I wanted her childhood summers to look like and how they differed from my own.
Reagan has always had the ability to find beauty in the everyday or things we often take for granted. Things like running through the rain, feeling the wind on your face as you speed through a lake on a boat, or taking a morning walk with family.
Our childhoods are different because we are different people. But we both get to be apart of a big, crazy, fun, loud and loving family that accepts everyone just as they are.
Rea of Hope 